almost done

***bad foot picture at end of post.

Tomorrow is the last day of treatment! This is a very good thing. The treatments used to fly by but now that I can see the damage getting worse by the day it's harder to lie on the table and enjoy myself.

My wound is very very gross. It wraps from one side around the back to the other side.
I try to keep it covered most of the time. Yesterday the kids saw my foot and reeled back in horror. emery exclaimed that I should be a zombie for Halloween because my foot was all rotten.

Then, I got a package in the mail from Morgan. It says "Do not open until Oct 10th".
me: What happens on Oct 10th
emery: No more Dr appointments!
me: I wonder what could be in the package
emery: ummmm... I think there's...
campbell:... a new foot! You need one of those. Yours is really bad.

The kids don't know I have cancer. They just think I have a lot of appointments for my ankle.

I get a few new wound care items each time I go in for treatment. There's a radiation oncology nurse on duty at all times and I've become good friends with her. She gives me awesome stuff like no-stick gauze and loose tube sock things to hide the ugliness that is my foot. Today I got petroleum gauze and the nurse wrapped my foot with new dressings. I was pampered.

effects:
sleepless... my foot hurts so bad, weeps all night long and sticks to the blankets, and it itchy and hot. I get a few good hours of sleep, but once I wake up it's all over.

pain... I can't set my foot down flat on the ground at all. It hurts to do everything. I hop around or use the crutches.

itchy... it's really itchy but there's no where left to itch. It's all open wounds.

"Radiation kills skin cells in the treatment area, causing your skin to peel off faster than it can grow back. When this happens, you can get sores or ulcers. The skin in your treatment area can also become wet, sore or infected." (Coping magazine from Dr.) Yes, that's me.

rotten... enough said

smelly... really really smelly

hairless... radiation makes the hair fall out in the treatment area

weepy... I have to keep something on it at all times

I am SO excited for this to be over. Not because I haven't appreciated all of the things I've learned. Life has been wonderful the last couple months. People have traveled from CA to visit. We're planning our move and things are falling into place. The kids have been so helpful. Spencer's had more time off because people at work send him home. All the good things have often overshadowed this one bad thing. But... now that my foot is dying a slow death I'm all ready to move on. I dream of the day when my skin stops grossing people out and starts to heal over.

Watching General Conference with griffin. Foot up and on ice. This is what I look like all day long.

Last week my best friend from CA came to help me. I did not get off the couch at all. Jenny cooked, baked, cleaned, entertained the kids and kept me company. I appreciated every single second because my foot was at its worst the day she arrived. Thank you a million times. She truly eased my burdens last week.

Yet another warning... the picture of my ankle is not nice. It's not even ugly... it's repulsive. I am shocked every time I look down and see it. So, if you want to remain blissfully ignorant (like I was) about the effects of direct radiation on the body, please don't look.

This picture actually makes me jealous. It was taken a couple days ago and now it looks much much worse. The open area is covering most of my foot. It makes me laugh when I look back at my previous pictures that I thought were bad at the time. They look like nothing.